The trip of the summer came and went much faster than I would have liked. I'm barely caught up on the jet lag, and my junior year is starting in two days! How is that possible? It felt so Hvar away. Get it? Hvar....far away.....I'm hilarious, aren't I?
No?
I tried. This isn't a comedy blog for a reason. Now, onto Hvar information because that is much more interesting than my failing career as a comedian.
1. It is the sunniest island in the Mediterranean. I think we could have figured that out. Have you seen my sunburn?
2. It is the most expensive island to live on. (Someone could probably put a small down payment on a house with all of the money I spent on Gelato.)
3. The entirety of Croatia is sixty eight kilometers long, which is forty-two miles for those whose math isn't their forte. Yes, I used Google to translate kilometers into miles. I write, I don't do numbers.
4. Hvar is the oldest island in Croatian history. It aged wonderfully.
5. It's first inhabitants were Greek. My greek mythology heart was really happy this trip.
6.Today, there are 2,003 residents....and all the introverts said "Oh, no!"
7. Houses are built with the kitchen on the top floor. This is so that in case something burns, only the kitchen is damaged. I need a house built like that. I can't cook to save my life.
8. In Hvar, kids drive a boat before they drive a car. I don't think I'm good at either.
9. Hvar's culture is heavily built on theater. These are my people!
10. The most expensive hotel in Hvar is two thousand Euros. That is equal to $2,194.30. It's right next to a bar and a dock, so people going over to the party island come back drunk to wake everybody up. It isn't really worth staying at a hotel that close, if you ask me. I guess that's why they don't have roosters. They have the drunks!
Well, we've established that I do not have a career in comedy, but I hope you enjoyed my sorry attempt to make you smile.